that was when truly I had begun to see. the sky was no limit for it’s height and the sea no suffocation from its depth. but, these places were different worlds, one no form of vision could put it’s finger on. when there was you and i in the same room, when the blinds lied shut and the bed still messy with dirt and stained sheets, when you’d put your hands on the small of my back and softly brush your fingers up and up and onto the pressure point behind my neck. when so perfectly, you’d place the ruggedness of your beating pulse, and ever so brutally, you’d press, those were the moments i felt not yours, but your only. your only weakness, the girl you couldn’t quite keep but fear too much that you would somehow anyway. you’d creep out your claws leashing down on the silk of my skin, and so tenderly slice out the imprint of your name. my own, you’re mine, you’re all mine you used to tell me. you used to whisper so sweetly how i was the angel on your shoulder and the devil on your other. i was the voice you’d hear at night, telling you yes and no and you love me, every single bit of me. and i was the face that scared every smile on your own face away, every second of everyday. i was her, and no one, not one person could replace me. not like i wasnt falling and falling and feeling let go and lost either. and with every moment my brain began to work again, id sit and wonder what the fuck am i doing. its as if the light in the midnight sky shown brighter and more beautifully than any other sight ive ever laid my eyes on. as if the most devilish thing i could dream was standing before me, hands stretched out, fingers curving in, curving in between the spaces in mine. my heart would dream and sing and welcome darkness, always trying to make me see, make me free. so my eyes may no longer lead me, but what is within, what is instead, what i feel may take me along. and take me, far far away, far into the blackest parts of you ..the ones that had no light at the end of the tunnel.